Well, actually the original Shakespeare quote was:

To be or not to be

But the vein of my existence isn’t my debate tonight.  I’m pretty certain of the answer to that one.  Or at least I’m certain enough to not debate it.

Today my debate is whether I should run or not to run.  I’m training for a marathon and for very practical purposes, I NEED to run tonight.  My training plan says I have to run.  I know I have to run.  Guaranteed I’ll feel it during the marathon if I don’t run.  But there’s some idiotic voice stuck in my head that’s telling me it’s ok to not run tonight.  It’s saying things like, ‘you just ran last night, take a break’.  Or things like ‘you’re doing such a good job already, you can easily skip a night and you won’t even miss a beat’.  Or how about the, ‘I know your marathon plan says to run tonight, but for sure there’s a plan our there that says tonight is a rest night.  Don’t worry you’ll be just fine’

It’s interesting because I know I’m being mind-fucked right now.  And by the same voice who does it to me all the time.  The same one who convinces me to sleep in, the same one that convinces me to eat that extra piece of brownie or the same one who just earlier today was trying to convince me to not make that extra cold call.  The fuckin nerve of that voice.  I just started working on a new recruiting project.  I need to get my client some new candidates BIG TIME.  And this jerk is telling me to take it easy, go on facebook, have an extra long lunch.  If only he would show himself to me, I’d knock him straight in the face and tell him exactly what I think of him.

But here I am, all the wiser and fully aware of the negative influence this voice has over me.  And here I am, still in debate.

Ok fuck it.  I’m over it.  This debate is getting old.  I’m going to get dressed and going on my run.  Unless of course, there’s a good show on tv or my kids distract me or I get too into checking my email or I oooh maybe if I rest tonight, I’ll wake up early in the morning and go for an even bigger run then.  Fuck there goes that voice again.

Ok I’m out.